Outa the Blue!

Tonight I have a very unexpected guest coming over... Something I did not see coming and I am not sure what its going to been.

I do really want to see her but at the same time I did not want to yet, I wanted sometime between the meeting to sort out my head and my heart. Even though I told her how i feel she is coming any ways and I am a little angry that she did not respect my wishes.. That being said I am looking forward to seeing her face again. To look into those eyes that I loved so much and to see if there is something still there. 

Black as Blood

Yesterday I felt really bad... So bad that I could not process anything. Not since my brother died have I been to this place in my head, dark through were racing through my brain and as with my brothers death I could only deal with it in one way.

Trying to bleed out the pain and the images from my mind are hard, I feel alone even thou I have many friends around me tell me they are there to help. I know that when I'm with them but when it comes down to it ... there not there at the times I'm at my lowest. They never can be, I am alone when they come - always alone.

Tonight I have been given something, A light at the end of a tunnel. But without the power to walk it to that end I find myself falling into nothingness. I don't know where this may lead but I will pull myself to that tunnels end and see just what that light is made out of... even if it takes a lifetime - even if it kills me.

Black is never Grey

The black hole I was in just got that bit darker and deeper, The news of late came to the ears of the one who needed to hear it, and the ending that I hoped to avoid has come.

I feel that this is a hole I'm never going to come up from and at times I hope never to, Life is flitting and never ending, no peace at the end, not blackness to engulf me. Life just keeps on living and I know when I am gone my soul is just going to be spat back out in a new life-form.

 Promises I cant make are just that, broken promises. 

Be strong and fight for the life you want, make it happen with everything in your soul and I know that in the end, I will hear about it.

4ife

To set the flames

In the next few days I have to make a big decision and I'm not sure what it will mean, this could be the end of something big but I feel that it needs to be done.

Why does life throw these things at us, Thing that you know are big things and not really giving us a chose. Life is never easy and we have to live with it, Will my life turn out the way I wish or will it just become a deep dark place that is going to form a hole I will never be able to dig myself out from? 

To let it burn or to add petrol to it to make sure something new and beautiful comes from the ashes 

Could this still be?

Funny what a day can bring. 

I had a nice long chat today with someone very close to my heart today, Talking with her really does calm's my sole and helps me see things that I sometimes cant sort it out myself... 

I think that there is some big changes going to be happening in the next few months and an old plan that I longed for might still have a chance in happening. Feelings are a funny thing and head fucks are really going to drive us crazy.

I know to you guys this is not going to make any seance what so ever BUT this is more for myself.

This is a hard one to write...  but this has really summed it up and it was a shock to have been given it by the person that this is all about.

I love you, always have - always will... <3 div="div">

Alone with friends...

I'm really in a funny mood today... I've been with friends all day but spent most of it in my head.

I'm think about what's going on in my life and what I'm missing in Sweden. My friend used to call me a love junky and I think that most of all that is what I am missing. That closeness that 2 people share and feel for each other. I don't know...

My friend did a painting with the text saying "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides".

Without that togetherness, without love you just have the psychical and I never really think that is going to be enough.

I don't know if this means I have made the biggest mistake of my life or that I'm just to deep in my own head right now.

crazy weekend shoot

This was one crazy weekend, with 2 parties loads of mates and long nights having loads of crazy fun. during one of the partys I did a mini shoot with 2 of my mates... 

All dressed up to the nines and looking amazing for the hallow party. This is the 1st edit that I have dont so far but im really looking forward to showing you guys the rest of the images soon 

Long days and Longer Night

My life has changed so much in the last 2 weeks that I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with it.

With Fluff moving back to Sweden my nights are alot more lonely  time has slowed down to a crawl and no amount of movie's or music seems to help, I have had some friends over and that does help a lot but as there not on the same time frame as I am, I am always left alone with my thoughts and worries.

I guess I just better get used to it as I dont see it changing any time soon. So as your falling off to sleep tonight, send a through to little old skinny Sweet dreams world

Another busy weekend

This weekend Skinny has been a very busy boy.

Some of you might not know but Saturday was world Zombie day and to celebreat it there was a massive meet in London. I joined the fun around 15.00 for the start of the pub crawl, As I was shooting I did not get dressed up but alot of my friends did and I really got some cool images, While editing I get one of the images a Fake HDR look, It worked so well that I used this style on all the images.

If you would like to see the full set use this LINK.

After the fun with the dead I headed home to get cleaned up for HHH (Hard House Heaven), An event I was asked to shoot up in Kings Cross. Scalar is one of my old school venues that I went to alot back in the day but it looks to be coming back as a hard house venue again. It was a really good night, music was banging and the people were just amazing! 

Full set of images once again on the site or on this LINK!