Lack of an inermonolog

There is a few things I'm know for but one that only a few understand is my lack of an inermonolog, when I'm tired or stressed. I lose my way and just say things that come into my head... 

Tonight I did something silly and maybe a little hurtful but my mind was on other things. The tension was a little high anyways and things were coming to a close but after watching a movie that brough a lot of throughs and feeling up it reminded of something. And with my mind things don't go in strate lines.

And that something lead to a crazy place in my head, a time of Disney love... The movie was the notebook and the comment I will not say but within a sec of it entering my head the comment had already left my lips. 

This can only mean one thing to me... Disney love is 4ife and it can never be replaced. 

That's it I'm done. I'm stoping all this silliness. I'm stoping the drugs and the drinking. I'm stoping the sleeping about and the messing with people. I need some time to myself and my feelings...

I will miss some things but not as much as I miss some others. 

The Long Nights

The life of skins is a crazy thing... It's busy and very hectic but every so often I get a night when I'm all alone and have a chance to think... This is such a night.

I came home with a plan, I needed to back up 2012s images and put them all into one catalog.  Reformat my iPhone and tidy the flat. Now all of them bar one is finished and I'm left waiting for the catalog to finish (47% right now). I'm starting to think about hitting the hay. 

Before I go to bed I look over the images from 2012 and see some of a little fluff that I love so much. Bring back images and feeling that are really hard to push aside, thinking of her is something I try to push to the back of my head most days and try to fill my time with something else(harder than you would think) 

Right now I'm typing this blog on my iPad and looking around the flat, much of it has changed since you were last here but there is still a feeling of you in the walls, this was your fav time of year, with the Christmas shows on the telly, the tunes in the radio and the lights filling the streets all across the city that we used to walk between every night before work.

You will always be a part of me and I miss you so much sometime it really does hurt... I hope you are happy in that city so far away, I hope that you have had an amazing Xmas and are enjoying yourself. I want to send you love and all the best wishes I can but at the same time tell you something in your ear. Something sweet and only between us.

I hope you hear it now and I hope it makes you smile to think of me as it does when I think of you.

Puss puss my bee, my person and I hope this year is gone with the blink of an eye so I may hear that voice again soon

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