Dealing

I dont think im dealing well right now....

Yes this is one of them blogs... and its been a while so I must say im sorry but right now i dont think anyones reading this anyway so hay.

This year as been a hard one, braking up with my soul mate and learnin to live by myself again has been a very hard thing. Working to much is draning the life from me and im still trying to push through everything by myself is just gettin me down, i feel depressed most of the time without a real reason to feel this way.

My body clock is just fucked, working 5 nights a week till nearly 6 in the morning, having a breakfast meeting ones every 2 weeks is fucking it up even more so and trying to live and see people (one of the few things that really bring joy to my heart) is also a drang on my energy levels.

I need money to pay bills and save for travailing next year but working this hard is really killing me. At the same time I go a little crazy if i have to much time to think so im stuck between a rock and a hard place.

My Rock used to help me here, she gave me direction and help when i needed it, told me to calm down and sleeep but at the same time would wake me when i slept to much. but she has not gone and i have to do it all by myself. Its true that you dont know what you had till its gone but I could no longer be that burden to her. She needs to grow and live her own life. As much as i miss her i know she is better off without me in her life.

So what to do... I think i know what needs to be done but i dont know how to do it. Do i drop a day at work to give me some life and energy back but by doing that i will lose out on income. I never wanted to be rich but right now i cant efford to really do it.

Why cant life just be that little bit easier - just for a short while till im back on my feet again.

"LIFE CHILL THE FUCK OUT! and then show me who to do it" - Jipp