Remember friends...

Do yo remember when the word Friend used to mean something....

A time when they where there for you when you needed them, that one hint of your voice could tell them just how your feeling and just talking with them would make you feel better.

Now what does it mean, someone that you met once and is now a friend on facebook. Over the last few years I have had alot of people come into my life calling themselves friends but only seem to want to see me sad,  or give me advice at a time when i really needed it and lead me down a dark path.

Friends that used me for who i was or made me into something im not. I was weak for a long time and while i do blame myself for my actions I maybe just wanted someone to grab me and tell me that im doing wrong... I had someone that would tell me but in my lost state I push them far away and not one of them told me this was a mistake, most push me to make that chose.

In the last 2 weeks I have really needed a friend and I have had no calls to my door and very few to my phone. I have desided to make my world a small an loney place, I dont want to but it seems that all my old friends are gone or changed into something that just adds bad things or idea's to my life.

I dont know why but i feel like shit and when i needed a friend to tell me what i needed to hear all i got was people telling me what they wanted to hear. Maybe im buring bridges and im going to piss alot of people off but seeing how most dont even know of this blog i dout they will ever know.

This is how im feeling right now and this is where my head is... I have to tell someone but I feel like i have no one to tell it to... lose is something that I myself must deal with and like most of my life its something i have to deal with alone.  I guess it will make me stronger for it.