Yesterday I felt really bad... So bad that I could not process anything. Not since my brother died have I been to this place in my head, dark through were racing through my brain and as with my brothers death I could only deal with it in one way.
Trying to bleed out the pain and the images from my mind are hard, I feel alone even thou I have many friends around me tell me they are there to help. I know that when I'm with them but when it comes down to it ... there not there at the times I'm at my lowest. They never can be, I am alone when they come - always alone.
Tonight I have been given something, A light at the end of a tunnel. But without the power to walk it to that end I find myself falling into nothingness. I don't know where this may lead but I will pull myself to that tunnels end and see just what that light is made out of... even if it takes a lifetime - even if it kills me.
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