Tonight I was backing up images from 2012 and I came apone a pic of Fluff...
And I smiled, It is funny that she can still make me happy after everything we have been through together, Of late it has been hard to think of her as there is alot on my plate... I do still love her but I cant be withher right now.
This image was shot in July (A few months before we split) just before I went off on a photo walk in Hyde park and she looks happy, smiling while on the phone to someone, I dont know who is on the phone but she is happy, something that I did not get to see as much as I wanted to.
I find myself now thinking of the diffrence of happiness then to now, Yes I was unhappy but for small moments in time I was more happy than I ever have been, Every day had its little bits of happiness.
It was not just when I was with my friends or out having fun but sitting at work or cooking food, Taking a short walk in the rain... I think i was happy in total if not all the time while now im happy more of the time but not inside. I am doing all the things that make me happy but when I was with you - I was happy doing nothing...
My tattoo says "Man Targer, Vad man haver" - "You take what you have", in other words "Make the best with what you have" Is this something I should have taken to acount? did the grass turn out to be greener or did it just seem that way?
This was meant to be our time to be away from each other and to give us time to think about were we are at, I am guessing that we are no longer having "This Time" but I still see this as time to sort out my head and get myself together...
But When I smile you come up, when you come up I smile - This is me still thinking of you Fluff - This is how I deal with this, This is how I feel when I can say my word.
Jag saknar dig
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